The First Wives Club

Some days are hard and exhausting so you just need to allow Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn and Diane Keaton rock your evening again, no matter how many times you’ve watched The First Wives Club before.

Oh yeah, not to mention, this little lady:

Aren’t they lovely?

I am not sure what’s the level of tolerance robot-people would have for this movie. At all. ‘Cause I do not understand that kind of brain and truth be told, I make zero effort to try to understand WHY, OH WHY someone likes a movie about cars that turn into robots or whatever… but if you are one of my people, which the averse-to-robots brain type “The first wives club” is a winner! And it has been for what… 20? 25 years?

It’s so good I watched it last night and I might watch it again today. And tomorrow. Except… I am in a Bridget Jones mood now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah… I happen to turn into a girl from time to time.

But then I go back to pumpkin. Promise.

Please, waste your time with this movie! Several times!

Best man down

Had Justin Long studied in my high school, I would have had a huge pathetic crush on him. I’d have talked to him a couple times and made silly jokes. I’d probably manage to make myself sound funny enough to make him think I was ok to be around, and, if we ever did ended up hanging out, he’d friendzone me forever.

Well, good thing that totally happened, but with a completely different guy so I can still watch all the Justin Long movies I want.

So, the movie!

The story of this movie is actually pretty excellent. But there’s something COMPLETELY off about it. I am no expert but I do want to say it’s… the direction? I mean the photography makes it seem extremely low budget at certain moments but then again, during some other scenes, it’s actually quite good and decent and Tyler Labine is extremely charismatic.

It kinda feels like 3 different people directed 3 different movies and blended them all together for editing, though? I don’t know… I can’t explain it. It’s good. But it’s also bad.

See what I mean?

This is the kind of movie you will watch when you are procrastinating something. Probably work.

I am so sorry, Justin.

The giant mechanical man

This movie definitely falls into the “What the f*** did I just watch?” category.

This is what I do… I usually filter a person on either Netflix or Amazon (or whatever) and I watch a few of their movies in a row. On this day, I was very much in a Topher Grace mood.

I mean, Topher is awesome and I know waaaaay more about him then I feel like I should know about a person who is *not* an actual friend. Actually, there’s a good chance I know a lot more about Topher Grace than I do about a good percentage of my friends BECAUSE he had a podcast.

In real life, I tend to interrupt people to talk about myself (I am a terrible person, I realize that) so, with podcasts, since I can’t do that, I tend to listen… and people tend to talk about themselves for hours… and he does that. I know that Topher Grace basically survived on cereal when he was single and that he was a reputation of enjoying board games but the story behind how that started is actually super not-legit ’cause he bought a bunch of board games it to impress random girls he never really hooked up with…

Anyway, what was the question?

Oh, that darn movie.

Well, I don’t mean to trigger anyone here, but if you feel like you’ve lost the willing to get out of bed and see the sunlight ever again… this movie will set the mood! It’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen – minus for the 5 minutes where you actually see Topher trying to be funny in a movie that is very much NOT.

I might actually watch is again just to understand if I was missing something or if that was actually it. I am thinking that was it.

I say don’t waste your time with it, unless you are in a very weird movie.

Of course, there’s a chance you very much enjoyed watching this. I mean, the guy who wrote it probably did. That just means we are very. Different. People.

That’s it.


Breaking News In Yuba County

I don’t believe Mila Kunis, at this point of her life, performs random roles because she needs the money. Therefore, I just don’t trust her with movie choices because most of the movies I’ve watched with her did not impress my superior mind *eyeroll*. Fine, I just don’t like most of her movies and MAYBE I don’t like her as a person a little bit. I mean, TF was “Extract?” , “Ted”, “The spy who whatever…” … just… no!

Still, I pressed play on “Breaking News In Yuba County”.

The set is so ugly it BOTHERS me. But then again, the whole movie is supposed to bother the audience…
Scene from “Breaking news in Yuba County”

The experience was weird.

I thought “Tusk” had made me paranoid and afraid of all my neighbors enough, but it turns out I still had room in my tiny little brain to be even MORE scared.

This is the story of a lady who is sad. She is sad and honestly, no one really cares about her. I’ve seen it happen in real life. Some people just have an *energy* that just pushes people away. The more needy you get, the worse it is.

The thing is, it hurts. It hurts and it keeps getting worse. So, the lady decides to make an insane move. She is so focused on being loved she loses perspective of basically everything.

The movie is kind of triggering and tense and how it’s a “comedy” drama, it’s beyond me. That stuff ain’t funny.

So, now I’m just sitting here thinking, “Oh, God! I really have to be careful… with everyone and everything because that lady could be anyone”.

So, there.

Happy Sunday Night, Michele.

It’s kind of a good movie… I would never watch is again, though.